the only valentine’s day cards i’ll accept
Soooooo…. Me and inaudibleecho are making a cult named Auxiliary Amphora, just cause we can. Message us if you’re interested in jointing up. We’re professionals in advanced hood rat techniques, excessive swearing, and cuttin’ bitches. YOU BETTA CHECK YOSELF BEFO YOU WRECK YOSELF.
i wish i had friends i could just call up at like 2am and be like “lets chill or go for a walk” and they would do it
I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking slut
I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking virgin
you will never know which of these two statements reign true for people who reblogs this and that bothers me
so you’re saying I can win 5 iphones every day??? and all I have to do is give my credit card number on this website I’ve never heard about??? well slam me in my tender butthole sir you’ve just got yourself a deal
Slam me in my tender butthole
I think I’ve just found my new favorite phrase.
IF HER BRA MATCHES HER PANTIES THEN CONGRATS YOU’RE GETTING LAID
food tastes better when you took it from someone
remember when Cosmo didn’t tell Mama Cosma he married Wanda so when he went to see her he told her he was out getting milk for the past 10,000 years
i take my hedgehog grocery shopping and nobody tells me to stop